The opposite of security is insecurity,
and the only way to overcome insecurity is to take risks.
Learning to be comfortable in our own skin can be one of the greatest challenges that any of us ever face. Yet, we all know that a secure person is much more likely to experience more success, have meaningful relationships, and gain the respect from others. Many people who experience a lack of self-confidence often find it difficult to function well, and comfortably, in a variety of different aspects of their lives. If you are battling insecurity, it may just be the thing that is holding you back and preventing you from achieving your heart’s desires.
Signs that may indicate that you have an issue with insecurity:
1. Defensiveness. People who lack of self-confidence can be very sensitive to criticism, and they may over-react often with defensiveness. If you feel uncomfortable with yourself, it can be challenging to accept someone else critiquing your flaws.
Secure people are often more capable of handling criticism. If you are comfortable with yourself and appreciate your own self-worth, you can be more open to hearing different ways that you might improve. If you are comfortable in your own skin, even if you disagree with the criticism you get, you probably won’t feel the need to argue because you are already quite content with the way you are.
2. Inability to enjoy silence. Some people who feel insecure are unable to deal with any sort of silences. This may challenge you if you find yourself needing to fill in every moment with chatter. Maybe you do this to avoid time with self-reflection.
Secure folks can tolerate silence and often enjoy it. When you’re secure, you can allow others to talk without ever feeling the need to interject with your own opinions.
3. Excessive joking. If you are feeling insecure, you may use excessive joking as a coping mechanism. A sense of humor is good for emotional health. However, if you feel unsure, you may push the limits of appropriateness.
The best joke tellers are confident individuals. You will be much funnier, and your jokes will be better received if you deliver them with confidence. You will also develop a better sense of when joking is acceptable, and when it may be viewed as hurtful rather than funny.
4. Self-promotion. Although this may seem counter-intuitive, sometimes those people who suffer from the lowest self-esteem talk about themselves constantly. It is as if they are trying to prove themselves to others, and to themselves.
Confident people don’t feel compelled to promote themselves in this way. When you are confident and assured, you know that how you live your life is a testament to your positive traits. Now, don’t get the concept confused. Even if you are a totally confident individual, you will still need some occasional validation from others. But you will find appropriate times and ways to ask for it, and you won’t need it constantly.
5. Bullying. People with low self-esteem often feel threatened by other people. One of the coping mechanism that sometimes develops is the drive to bully others. If you feel threatened by secure individuals, you may be feeling the power that they hold over themselves. Again, this may sound counter-intuitive, but just think back to the bullies you knew in grade school; we all had them.
6. Overly competitive. Although competitiveness is natural, when this trait is taken to extremes, it is often indicative of an underlying problem. If you can’t handle losing without making a huge emotional display, then you may have a challenge with your own insecurity.
Keep in mind that secure individuals win and lose with grace. Grace relates to respecting your competitors. If you’re comfortable with your own self, then you will be able to lose and win with poise.
Nothing dictates that an insecure individual must feel that way forever. If you recognize a few of these characteristics in yourself, know that it is up to you to take positive steps to overcome your insecurity and build a better self-image. Confidence and security in yourself and your abilities will improve every aspect of your life by changing how you view yourself and the world around you.
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