Chores and Children – How Young Should They Start?

When I was pregnant with my first son 24 years ago I read an article in a magazine about a woman who used housework as a reward! What an idea – housework, a reward!!! Well – I liked that idea very much.  My sons are 18 months apart and my daughter is 2 3/4 years younger than my middle son, so I could use all the help I could get.  I washed cloth diapers, so I used organic cleaning products in my home (something I think every household should use- but that’s another post) so at 18 months old each one of my kids had their own spray bottle and helping mommy was such a reward to them. Believe me, the bottom 3 feet of my walls and my baseboards shined like the sun!

When they were 2 they started making their beds. Now, how does a 2 year old make the bed – not very neatly – but they do their best. I resisted the urge to do it “better” and fix it, and day by day, they learned to make their beds so well that by 4 they were doing hospital corners!  They would fold and put away their laundry at 3. Would I give them things to fold and put away that I wanted wrinkle-free- of course not – but by 8 my brothers were paying my kids $5 a load to wash and fold!  Whenever they came to visit, they would bring a load or 2. The best was my son Dan, helping his sister Courtney put in the detergent because she was too short to reach, and he gave her $2 for doing the wash-part!

When they were 5 they were old enough to mop and put their laundry in, at 6 they did pots and pans, at 7 they could do dishes. When it was chore time, the kitchen work was the most special and important and they would try to do those chores when it wasn’t their “turn”. You’d hear one of my boys say, “Its my turn to mop” and the other say, “Oh no, its my turn to mop, you vacuum!”  Their playroom was set up like a preschool with a place for everything and everything in its place.  I would flick the lights and sing the “Clean-up song” and they would put things back on there hooks, or shelves or toy box and really took pride in making things as clean as possible.  It was so special to them to graduate to new chores because it meant they were older and could do more things to help mommy.

Well, one day my oldest, who was 101/2 at the time, asked if he could speak to me in private please.  We went into my room and shut the door and he said, “Mom, I was at Josh’s house and he mops the kitchen floor. He said that its not fun, its work and he gets paid!”

Caught, busted, snagged – no more free help from my oldest, so resigned I said to him, “Okay, how does $5 a week sound?”  His eyes lit up and we shook on it. Then I said, “Don’t tell your brother or sister!”

“Deal” was his response and we went on from there.

Well, I have to tell you – 10 1/2 was the magic number in our house, the time when each one of them found out that chores didn’t equal reward, it equaled work and an allowance was in order.  So then money management because part of learning, but again, another blog post.  My children are now 23, 22 and 19 and know how to cook and clean and do laundry and pay bills and live on their own.  The people they are dating are amazed at how well they can take care of themselves and others, love that about them and learn from them.

So – chores and children – how young should they start – as young as possible because it gives them a foundation for as long as they remember and makes them a part of the working order of their home.  As parents it is our job to encourage them and resist the urge to go back and do it better! Did they do each thing perfect at the start of each new responsibility, no but who is perfect? They did their best and took pride in how well they did each and everything they did. Give your children the chance to feel proud of their accomplishments and teaching your children to be able to care for themselves is a great gift and one that will keep on giving for a lifetime.