Red Light, Green Light: What My Daughter Taught me About Marriage
Years ago, I was about 8th in a queue of vehicles attempting to get through an intersection. Being eighth may not sound that bad, but the intersection had a stop light that changed from green to red light in nearly an instant. Only one, or maybe two cars, could get through each cycle.
After several cycles of green and red lights, I was second in line. Just like every other time, the light was green for only a moment, and the first car made it through just fine. I calculated my odds, and whether I would get a ticket, and gambled by flooring our jalopy van through the intersection. I was relieved to see the light was yellow by the time we passed.
My daughter, who was probably three or four, was also in the van, and started chastising me for going through an intersection that didn’t have a green light. Being her parent, I simply had to correct her, and told her that the important thing was that we didn’t run a red light.
“But Dad,” she insisted, “that light was yellow and you went FASTER.”
Over the last several years, I’ve thought of how that experience serves as a great lesson for marriages. Most married couples know when things are running smoothly (green light), and they know at what point they do not want to cross or go through (red light). Many couples want to avoid the red light equivalent of an affair or divorce, but far fewer couples understand that the transition from “yellow” to “red” occurs quite quickly.
Without knowing it, my daughter taught me the importance of boundaries, or that I really needed to understand where to draw the line between my marriage and other relationships and activities. It helped me think a little more about how I interact with others, and to help me better recognize when someone (including myself) may be crossing the line—even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to anyone else. It wasn’t that those relations or activities were inherently evil, but rather that I needed to strengthen (and defend) my marriage that much more.
Thank you, my daughter, for teaching me a lesson I’ll never forget.
I think it’s wonderful that your daughter taught you a lesson! Girls are priceless and it’s a good father like you that takes notice to that.
Thanks Melodee! It’s been a lesson I’ll never forget! (And she never let’s me forget each time I hit a yellow light)! LOL.