I love bloggers. I particularly love reading the blogs of folks I know, or in some cases want to know. The past eleven years of blogging has blessed my life with friendships, followers, and experiences I cannot begin to share with you deeply enough in a meaningful way. Blogging has grown up so much in the past two years…for me its a struggle. Many bloggers are expanding, turning it more and more into a demonstration of skills achieved, beautiful containers created, financial connections made…and I value their success if that is what their goals were. If I am not careful I can absolutely go that route….of measuring myself against others…of feeling not enough…of seeking to impress instead of simply being me….of focusing on achieving something other than what we intended to do….which was simply to share our journey as a step family and help others with lessons we’re learning or have learned…most of the time the hard way.
Sometimes it seems that everyone Else’s “just being me” is wildly more successful than my life, as I am.
This year God has so pressed upon my heart that I am to focus only on that which He puts before me. That I am not required to make His plans for me….that my planning, in fact, sometimes hinders me from living the life He has for me….the measure of my success? Surrender, obedience, choosing joy for what He has for us.
Control is such an alluring thing. The entire concept implies that the more we take effort to control, the more efficient and successful our life would be….but God seems to be constantly a God of the interrupt…ask Noah, ask Abraham…they probably didn’t see their lives going the directions God took them either….and I’m sure it all felt crazy at the time…..
I answer the greeting “how are you?” with Crazy as usual…for this life that God has no doubts put Les and I together in…is not the path Les and I thought we’d be on….given our choice we’d prefer a much more sedate, quiet in the shadows kind of life…but this is the life that God has brought us to, and its anything but quiet….
Today I read a friend’s blog on what she will give her children , she is someone three years ago I would have had no reason to know, yet I adore and appreciate all that she is today. She is not of my league, she lives on a higher plane both socially and in her scope of influence…but I am thankful for her presence in my life. The value that continues to keep me in awe is how God weaves such folks into our streams, how even when we end up in places we never thought we’d go…or when things don’t work out as we first thought, that God brings value to our experiences….and uses them for His purposes…my lessons seem continual, but I value all that God has aligned in my schooling.
It is a time of pruning again, of looking deeply into a time that Les and I both know is happening…of accepting the responsibility of focusing on a life we might not have chosen, yet know is ours to live…..this morning I am aware that the road is a different path….and that as lovely as others lives seem to be, and as well done as many of them are in their sharing of their lives….we are simply to be ourselves and that will be enough.